


Only Something New

by paperwar



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou
Genre: F/F, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-08
Updated: 2012-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperwar/pseuds/paperwar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are almost as hard to see as youkai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Something New

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Qem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qem/gifts).



"Oh, you're the class 2 president, right? Sasada-san, is it?" Taki said to the other girl, who'd come bustling around the corner as Taki was on her way to change her shoes and go home.

"Yes," the girl said, adjusting her glasses. "Sorry," she said, "I'm in a hurry. I've got to get to the nurse's office." She stepped around Taki.

Taki put her hand on Sasada's shoulder. "Are you looking for Natsume-kun?" 

Sasada stilled under her hand, then jerked away, narrowing her eyes at her.

"He's sleeping now. He's all right." Taki forced a smile. There'd been a youkai after him. She and Tanuma had grabbed him as he was being dragged down the hallway. They'd been afraid of making things worse, especially as they couldn't quite tell how he was being carried. But it was never possible to stand there and do nothing. Tanuma had aimed a punch somewhere above Natsume's head that seemed to connect. Taki had felt something slipping around her ankle; she'd stomped on it with her other foot and felt it wither away. Natsume, released, had lurched forward and sucked in air before collapsing onto the hallway floor. 

It was depressing, Taki had thought as they carried him to the nurse's office, that this was the way they could help the most.

She shook her head to clear her distraction. Sasada said, "Weird things happen around Natsume all the time, don't they?" There was a glint in her eye that made Taki shrink back.

"Well, I've got to get home now," Taki said, hurrying away.

Later on in the week, Taki stopped by the school library to pick up a book for a report and a folklore book. She was fairly certain that the latter wouldn't have anything she didn't already know, but she was learning not to dismiss any potential source of information. Coming back out again she bumped into Sasada. 

"Oh, doing homework?" Sasada asked. Taki straightened the cover of the history book for her report, blocking the folklore book from view. She smiled at Sasada and said nothing.

"Is Natsume around today?" Sasada glanced around the library, eyes returning to Taki with disappointment when she didn't find him.

"No, he went home with Tanuma-kun already. I've got to go too. Nice to see you again!"

"Wait," Sasada said. "You live out past where they tore down that old school, right?" Sasada said. "I live right before it. Let's walk home together." Sasada gave her a smile, sharp curiosity turned to simple warmth. Taki blinked. She knew that Natsume's other friends found Sasada annoying, but maybe they'd just never seen that smile. 

"Okay."

As they left the building, Taki kept catching glimpses of Sasada opening her mouth and then closing it again with a little hunching of her shoulders, as if she wanted to say something.

Two long streets passed in silence. Taki didn't mind; speaking as little as possible remained an easy habit to slide back into. 

"Is something wrong with Natsume?" Sasada asked.

Taki stopped. "What do you mean?" 

"Did he ever tell you about our test of courage?" Sasada put her hand on Taki's arm and leaned in, staring.

Taki furrowed her brows. "I don't think so." 

"If I tell you a story," Sasada said, "will you promise not to laugh?"

"Of course!"

Sasada let out a slow breath. They started walking again. "We had our test of courage at that old school, before they demolished it. I chose the spot. Because..." She turned to Taki. "How much do you know about spirits?"

Taki's head rocked back, even though she tried to hide it. "What do you mean?"

"You must know something. You're a friend of Natsume's." There was a tinge of bitterness in Sasada's voice.

Taki fluttered her hands, a bright smile on her face, and said, "Well, um, my grandfather was a scholar of youkai. He was always reading about them. But..." She shrugged. "I don't think he ever saw any." She tried to say it so that the unspoken corollary would be _And I never have either_. Which was a lie, of course, and Taki hated lying. So she hoped Sasada would draw the wrong conclusion herself, because these weren't just Taki's own secrets to hide.

"Well, maybe you'll know something anyway about..." Sasada paused, a strangely vulnerable look on her face. It made Taki's heart twist. Sasada said in a rush, "The kind of spirit I saw at the test of courage."

"If I can help, I will," Taki said. She listened, head tilted to one side, as Sasada described what had happened. "I've never heard of anything like that around here," Taki said. "I'm sorry, but whatever you saw, I'm not familiar with it." It was a half-truth: she knew youkai could be tainted with hatred and the desire for vengeance if humans had harmed them. But she didn't recognize the youkai Sasada had seen.

They resumed walking in silence. At the next street, Nyanko-sensei barreled out from between two buildings, slamming into Taki's legs and knocking her down. "Nyanko-sensei!" she said, standing up, hands already twitching with the urge to cuddle.

"Oh, it's you," the cat said with a sniff. "Watch where you're going." He backed away from her.

Sasada was staring, hand to her chest. "That cat spoke. That's Natsume's cat, isn't it? And it spoke. I know it did." She glared at Taki, pointing her finger. "And you know it did, too."

Taki and Nyanko-sensei shared a rueful look. "Crap, now you'll have to tell her," Nyanko-sensei said. "Not my problem." He shook himself and turned to go.

"Wait!" Taki said.

"I'm going to get some ramen! I'm hungry!" Nyanko-sensei said, as he dashed off.

She turned to Sasada slowly. The outrage -- that this had been going on without her -- and the hunger for information on Sasada's face made Taki take a step backwards.

"You knew!" Sasada said, gesturing behind them to the vanishing cat. "Tell me everything."

Taki knew she couldn't lie. Sasada was too smart for that, even if Taki felt comfortable doing it. She sent a silent apology to Natsume. "Well," Taki began. 

Sasada listened intently until Taki was done. For a moment there was silence. Taki could tell Sasada had so many things she wanted to say at once she couldn't figure out where to begin.

At last Sasada grumbled, "Why did Natsume tell you and not me? He knew I'd seen one too!"

"I think he's still getting used to having people to talk to about this." Taki waved her hands in apology. "He probably was too scared."

Sasada humphed. "That's a lousy excuse." 

"Maybe he didn't have the heart to not help me," Taki said. "Because I was going to die." Saying that still caused a lump in her throat. "And then I accidentally cursed him, too." 

They walked the rest of their way together in quiet contemplation. When they said goodbye, Sasada's anger seemed to have receded; instead she looked hurt at the secrets that had been kept around her. It wasn't Taki's fault, but she felt guilty nevertheless.

Still, at least Sasada didn't hold a grudge. She tried to deflect class responsibilities from Natsume, if he looked as if he needed to run out of class -- or if Taki hinted that he needed to -- or if he looked especially tired. She took great pleasure in making Nishimura and Kitamoto do Natsume's share of the classroom cleaning, for example.

She didn't let up on Taki with questions, either. "Please," Taki had begged her, "please don't let Natsume know that you know. He'll be upset if someone knows that he didn't tell." If being bombarded with questions by Sasada deflected some of them from Natsume, she didn't mind at all. 

No, Taki didn't mind. It meant a lot of time in the library with Sasada after school and even inviting her home a few times to show her the books in her grandfather's library. 

"Yeah, come on over," Taki said to Sasada after school one day; it was only later that she was amazed at how casually the words left her mouth. They'd gotten a snack and were peering at one particularly puzzling illustration of a youkai in a huge book, so heavy Taki nearly dropped it as she pulled it from a shelf above her head. "Careful!" Sasada had said, hand darting up to lend support just before it landed on Taki.

Now they were sitting on the floor of the library together, book spread open across both their laps. It made Taki feel like a little girl. Except she was also prickly with awareness of Sasada's thigh next to hers. They weren't touching, not quite, but Taki thought she could feel her body heat anyway, skin so close to hers.

"Look at this!" Taki said, pointing at a detail in the picture. She bent her head down to squint at it at the same time Sasada did. Their heads almost collided; instead they turned their faces together with jittery laughter. 

It wasn't body heat that Taki felt now, but breath. Taki wondered if Sasada's heart was pounding like hers was.

She couldn't tell who leaned in first, whose eyes shut first. All she knew was that they were kissing. And suddenly the world made sense, when she hadn't even known that it was off-balance before. 

She inhaled, and caught Sasada's scent, the faintest hint of some flowery teen girl shampoo or soap; she would've thought Sasada would choose something plainer, and spared another thought to laugh at herself for noticing. Taki put her right hand down to lean on, and discovered Sasada's hand there, too, next to her. Their fingers linked for a second until suddenly Taki couldn't stand it and both her hands flew up, twining in Sasada's hair, cradling her head, and then, there, there at last were Sasada's hands, doing the same thing, stroking Taki's neck and her hair and they were still kissing like there was nothing else they wanted to be doing in the world.

Another moment and they broke off and stared at each other, all worry and desire and impatience. At least that's what Taki felt, what she thought was mirrored in Sasada's face. 

Sasada pulled her back towards her, shoving the book off to the side. Taki struggled to right herself for a second when Sasada kept pulling and Taki thought she'd overbalanced. But Sasada was deliberate, as she was in everything, and Taki realized Sasada was pulling Taki down on top of her. 

Don't think too much, Taki thought, just do this. But what should she do with her hands? She needed one to brace herself, but what to do with the other one felt awkward. And then Sasada was kissing down her face to her neck, and then down her neck, and Taki found it difficult to worry about it anymore. Her hand ended up on Sasada's shoulder, inching down. She had a moment where she was horrified at her boldness until Sasada herself shifted to nudge Taki's hand into a better position. 

Later on, they were hastily straightening clothes and smoothing hair before dinner. "I thought you liked Natsume," Taki whispered in the hallway. 

"I thought you liked him too!" Sasada whispered back.

"Not _that_ way!" 

There was time for another giggle and a quick squeeze of hands before they had to make small talk with Taki's parents. They kept sharing little, bright glances across the table. 

Taki fell asleep that night smiling.


End file.
